I was on a school trip to Snowdonia a couple of weeks ago with 140 14 and 15 year olds, not all of
who were volunteers. During three days of kayaking, climbing, high ropes, slate mines and hiking, I
was yet again able to marvel at the complexities of teenage group dynamics. Of greatest interest to
me was the obvious motivational power of social relationships. Friendships and the related group
associations are everything to teenagers – that I already knew – but what is the best way to harness
this to motivate them to try new things; apply themselves with greater energy and enthusiasm to
new endeavours, perhaps even to engage with activities that they don’t really enjoy but will help
them to grow?
The trip culminated with an ascent of Snowdon; a significant undertaking for many of the group who
were not used to sustained physical exertion and may well never have properly hiked before. To a
person they succeeded with remarkably little moaning, and many said that despite not necessarily
seeing hiking as being a future hobby, that they had valued the experience. I was actually pretty
shocked. But having watched their interactions the reason was fairly obvious. Friendship and social
engagement. A shared goal and achievement, with the opportunity to chat and interact during the
activity.
With a new found faith in Millennials I prepared myself for the 5 hour drive back home, only to be
bombarded by a string of pupils in a state of agitation and distress. Their phones were now so low on
charge that they would run out of juice early in the bus journey. There was genuine shock and
confusion as to what they could do. I was obviously in a good mood as I refrained from the usual
sarcastic adult response and fake commiseration, but it did get me thinking. Able and resilient one
minute, fragile and fickle the next. Why?
Now, being a teacher and parent, I do try not to condemn everything just because it’s different to my
own experience growing up. It is easy to judge everything against our own version of ‘it was different
in my day’, or ‘if it was good enough for us ….’, but often our own judgements and recollections are
tainted by bias and false cause/effect conclusions. It is, however, useful to assess whether change has
been beneficial or otherwise. Do we/they miss out on any useful development opportunities or
worthwhile behaviours?
For example it’s well documented that in the age of smart phones, kids (and adults) have access to
instant stimulation and 24 hours a day ‘social’ contact. When do they now ever have that separation
from ‘friends’ or constant access to external mental stimulation? I remember the days when you
made an agreement to meet some mates, and in the absence of mobile phones, if they were late,
you waited. You might have a newspaper with you, but more likely you stood there, people watched,
mulled things over, pondered, self analysed, reflected, and generally thought about ‘stuff’.
Intuitively I would guess that this process, despite feeling like a waste of precious time, might be
inherently helpful to the development of certain useful character traits. Patience and resilience in
the face of boredom seem obvious, but I also believe that being encouraged to think deeply, reflect
and self analyse, dream and perhaps even to let your mind wander, can have a positive impact on
self awareness and wellbeing. I certainly feel more empowered and more the master of my own
mind when I do not feel as though my happiness and mental state are hostage to the situation or
some device.
This, I believe is one example of the Power of solitude.
Time alone, especially by choice, should not be confused with loneliness. In today’s often hectic,
interconnected world, genuine solitude and ‘time to think’ can be allusive. Mindfulness, yoga,
pilates, outdoor swimming, meditation are all popular ways of squeezing some ‘me time’ into our
busy weeks. Opportunities to focus on the present rather than be constantly overwhelmed, or at
least preoccupied by the pace and pressures of modern society. The benefits are well documented
and provide those regular, low level hits of inner peace. These also happen to be activities that do
not appeal to teenagers, who often seek more social, less reflective activities.
For me, nothing fits the bill like being outdoors, often with my family or friends, but on my own when
I need it. Solitude surrounded by nature is as therapeutic as it gets.
If these kids go home knowing that they can actually have fun in the great outdoors and even by
taking on some sort of physical challenge, then that would be an amazing outcome. I sense that the
Power of Solitude might be a slightly more difficult sell, and is potentially one that is increasingly lost
in Smart phone society.
Power of Solitude
